1. |
The Return Home
05:49
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There was only ever fire when I awoke
Destruction, malevolence born of resentment
They burned the earth, their hate consumed their homes
No tears, no prayers could save them, all hope for peace was lost
How badly I wanted to believe there was an ounce of good to be found
in this pathetic waste of life
Disgusting pigs sinking in their own shit, multiplying by the day
I could end their misery, it's the merciful way
Ignorance bred ignorance
Charisma led the way
Following ideals set millenniums away
I'll be your deliverance
Join in my soiree
I will set a banquet fit for all the kings that you portray
Just a bite to poison the greedy filth
Gluttonous, gorging on your demise
You owe a debt, it's all that grows,
For every life you stole, the broken dreams,
The hungry ghosts lost in eternity
Strangers to regret and guilt
Born with rot inside
With bated breath I anticipate the end
Of every wretched soul I see
So I may punish them eternally
I'll ascend the throne once more
The one true ruler of the afterlife
I'll ascend the throne once more
And then begin the sacrifice
I wasted my time,
Thinking that hope could be here
That life would be kind
You devastated the earth
And spread like a cancer that feeds on joy
Duty calls me home
Reject these earthy woes
Transcend the grey in-between
Finally clean
I'll dance with death
Wrists open,
slipping into lukewarm oblivion
everything fades white
something better awaits me on the other side
I leave your fucking miserable life
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2. |
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I grew up alone, older in soul, detached from the world
Then there was you, careless and free
You showed me the world as the poets sang it to be
Full of light and beauty
I saw the dance of the stars in the sky
Heard the whispered song on the wind
The quiet laughter in the streams
The peaceful sigh of the sea
The everlasting hum of the universe
There came, a day, when our cosmos fell apart
Your breath grew shorter, your heartbeat weak
The glow of summer faded to the fiery shades of fall
It was all you could do to muster the strength to speak
Your eyes sank deep into your skull
Your skin sagging off your bones
And though your smile and your spirit remained bright
The question changed from "if" to "how much time
Do we have left together?"
You got weaker every day
Slowly they ran out of hopeful things to say
In all my endeavours
To find a way for you to stay
Just a little longer, selfishly...
the stars glared with the moon from their lofty perch
The wind howled instead of singing
The seas roared and the weeping of the streams
Were matched only by the aching of my hopelessness
You fought so well
But as your final days drew near
You lost yourself
I couldn't help
The cold sank deep, the path was clear
I'd give
Anything
To trade with you
It should be me
Who leaves this place
The last day of tranquility caressed your face
You begged for it to be me
I should be the one to end your agony
Mine is only just beginning
Bracing myself
I release you from your pains
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3. |
Grief
05:42
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There was no sense in continuing
There was never any point
They wander aimlessly as lumps of pulsating flesh
Searching for beauty and meaning in everything
Where there's none
And nightwalkers
Carry the heaviest and wisest hearts of all
In their waking hours
They are haunted by celestial giants
Reminders that we are nothing
We come from nothing
We'll always be nothing
Every day goes on, the same wicked nightmare on repeat
And I loathe the coward in me
Who could not summon the strength to pull the trigger on my escape
I lost myself in their strange and cold world
Staring skyward like them
I found a temporary peace
In the endless, vast obscurity
Stretching farther than we'll ever know
It was from my insignificance that I found the grit to persevere
Still, I was plagued by the thought of gentle nothingness
If I don’t matter, there is no need to endeavor
Does the beauty of the earth match the blessed emptiness?
Our pestilence destroys this place forever
My will to live was rendered meaningless
All ties binding me here have been severed
Raging winds, hear my plea
Furious seas, embrace me
I long for your darkest fathoms to consume my remains
I was born of your darkness
And to your murk I will return
I am in awe of your beauty
Enraptured by your depths
Your silent strength, your boundless power
And though tremulous, I invite your wrath
Cursed is the soul who blindly loved death itself
Made it know the fleeting beauty of a moment beneath the sun.
My core remains unseen
My secret kept
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4. |
The Ending Arcane
04:34
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I reject your wisdom
Ease my pain
With vices
Carnal indulgences
Resurrect and succumb
Unrestrained
Devising
Barely surviving
Darkness reveals a path that I have walked once before
The deepness speaks my name
I will end the suffering of my soul
This will end it all
The ending arcane
Ecstasy is absent
In the presence of the fruition of all I've dreamed
Consciousness in fragments
Endless anger and vengeance haunting all my deeds
Delirium and sorrow and paralysis are my masters now
Sneak a look behind
Infamy and fear control me
Underserving forever beneath your gaze
The ending arcane
Creeping in my mind
My misdeeds appear before me
Taunting me with foul praise
for a fleeting moment, I remember the song of the wind,
I laugh quietly with the streams, and I sigh in serenity with the sea
Swimming in my own loathing
Slowly descending
deeper and darker
Fathomless depths
Swirling around me
I am numb
No tribulations
No regrets
One more night
I've fled the wrath
Of my conscience
Suspend my consciousness
Grant me the rest to convalesce
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5. |
Projections
05:42
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Anger floats dormant in the aching emptiness
The oceans drained, the cracked sand
There was never any hope for happiness here
The child within died long ago
How long have I wandered hollow?
How long has the joy been gone?
When did I wake? Did I even wake?
Horrific nightmares leading into unreal days
Crushed and preserved
By discipline
My only guide through the fog that obscures inside
Blood boiling just to stay alive
Focusing on anything just to still my mind
Hit the lights, can't believe my eyes
What is this I see? Visions of your face decaying
Corpses rotting on the floors, specters rapping at my window
This isn't real, this can't be real
Wake me
Wake me
Panicked with the lights on I lay alone in a cold sweat with my demons
Am I insane?
Am I losing my mind?
What is wrong with me?
Desperately searching for an answer
Or a way to subdue
The endless downward nightly spiraling
Hypnagogic hallucinations laced with guilt and solitude
Finally the glow of dawn arrives and I am safe
Delivering me from the horrors that kept me awake
Practically lifeless, dragging through another day
Fearing the silence looming just hours away
In my own reflection, you're just behind, beckoning
Is it a projection of what's inside, telling me,
Now's the time.
Do not forsake the sea
Or its serenity
Do not drown in your regret
Do not forget the things I made you know
Now go and leave the pain of the past behind
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6. |
Absent
04:47
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I have been absent, unfaithful, unlike me
Forgive me, undeservedly
The touch of others pales
For the softness of yours
Is like the wings of angels
Caressing my damned skin
Carry me to the ever-elusive oblivion of sleep
Carry me to the ever-elusive oblivion of sleep
Where any other night, I am wrapped in sandpaper and burlap
Kidnapped by libations and hours of toil
Reaching the threshold, never crossing
I am here now
And beneath sun or moon, I'm yours
None could compare
To your silken embrace
My body aches for you
My calling misconstrued
My intentions are only pure
You always had a way
Of restoring the lost
Repairing the cracks in my soul
It seems impossible now
With the veil between us
Perhaps one day we will not be so far
Wherever you are,
May you bask in the peace I can no longer seem to find
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7. |
Mortal Vessel Drained
03:59
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I have been punished long enough
Let me go
Let me die
Let me know nihility
Release me from my cage of bones
If this is all that I may see
If this is all that's left to know
Abandon my ash
Return to dust
No turning back
I've had enough
Let me go
Let me die
I will know nihility
Mortal vessel drained
Spirit uncontained
I was the one who once sang the songs of the damned
Exhaustion has taken me to where it all began
I've been burnt
By the flames
I once reveled in
I've been turned
From my domain
Beaten senseless
Nights of poetry
String quartets and champagne
All the worldly opulence
Treasures curated
Now gathering dust
Red wine turns to vinegar
Nothing seems to matter anymore
I've been burned
By the flames
I once reveled in
Ash to ash
Dust to dust
No turning back
I've had enough
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8. |
Lights In the Murk
04:50
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Sleep-deprived and fading
End is imminent, all is growing dark and cold
Strange lights in the murk
Glimmering like the stars I turned to for comfort
Ghostly giants drifting past
Should I fear for my life?
Am I already dead?
Have I reached the end?
All that fills my mind
Is the pain
Of the hole in my spirit that I carved
In your name
I could not save you
All that I was
All that I am
Vengeance shall be my name
I will burn the earth
That willfully turned away
They will know the weight
Nothing in my power will ever be enough
You were too good to join the damned with me below
We forever shall be apart, I vow to destroy them as they did us
This ends now
Slipping away, I don't recall
Drifting astray or gaining control
Ice gives way to warmth
Then the torrid fire
Is it flames or beasts
Licking the flesh from my bones?
Corpus igni damnatorum
Dominum! Grata domum
Sanguis est regiis vestris
Dominum! Grata domum
I am drifting in the dark
Finally with purpose
Finally clean
I welcome death
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